Google Alerts brings me delightful things.  They range from the ridiculous to the humorous to the heartbreaking.  But my favourite by far has been this piece from the Gaytheist Gospel Hour.  I just had to share it with you:

A Modest Gay Marriage Proposal

I am enamored and in love with this idea.  I have warned my mother of what is coming.

“Ruining Thanksgiving is practically a gay tradition.  I remember coming back from college for Thanksgiving break back in 1987, sporting my Dagwood Bumstead-meets-Thompson-Twins haircut, the intensely taciturn way my dad carved the turkey, the worried look on my mom’s face, and the lonesome feeling of being a misunderstood minority within my own family.  Such wonderful memories!  So it’s in the spirit of ‘87 that I propose that unless and until gay marriage is a nationwide reality, we make Thanksgiving as uncomfortable as possible. It may be the only way we can personalize the pain of injustice for those who make the mistake of thinking gay marriage is someone else’s concern.”

Personally, one of the hardest parts of this family holiday (at least before I took over hosting it) was sitting through the conservative, ridiculous prayers to the invisible skydaddy that seemed to hold the same political and and personal viewpoints as our patriarchal host.  I had taken to physically leaving the table and/or serving myself so as to not voice my opposition to the practice of holding guests hostage so a frustrated preacher can have his way with us.  So this suggestion very much appealed to me.  I may be amending something in there to pertain to separation of church and state:

When it’s time to give thanks, some variation on the following will make your point: “I’m thankful that I live in a country where ‘No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States…nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.’  Oh, wait!  No, I don’t!  And I guess I won’t until Gay Marriage is a reality.  Amen!”

Also, may I suggest that if you’re in the closet in any way and were planning on coming out (as queer, as atheist, as feminist, as communist, etc.), save it for Thanksgiving.  Hold that fabulous, pretending holiday hostage.  At the very least, it’ll make an interesting story to tell the future rugrats that come to Thanksgiving, confused about where they stand in the world.