This is a brief post by my friend PithAndWit.  I asked her to contribute to the discussion about the anti-abortion Stupak-Pitts bill that was added to the Healthcare Reform Act before passing in the House.  PithAndWit formerly worked for a woman’s healthcare provider that performed abortions.  As you will soon see, she is my best and most charming frienemy for some very good reasons.  – Reed

I was briefly given admin rights on this blog due to the recent healthcare bill. I was going to write something well-conceived and thought-provoking, but having had a few beers, I’m settling for plain old provoking, and talk about conception.

I spent half of the past year working at an abortion clinic. I started off in the front office, but by the time I was finished there I was giving birth control and MicRhogam shots, counseling, performing ultrasounds, drawing blood, assisting the physician during the procedure and even working in the POC room– the Products Of Conception Room. I’m the lady who sorted through the detritus to make sure we got everything out.

After all that experience, and talking to women from all backgrounds who’ve had abortions, strangers and friends, you know what I think?

If I got pregnant, I’d collect donations to get that shit sucked out. I take some steps to keep my womb vacant, but I know that plans get fucked and shit happens. I’ve already offered to name my hypothetical abortion after Mr. Braden if he contributes to the fund. I almost want to get pregnant, just so I can experience what all these other women have gone through.

Dear Congress,

Name one outpatient surgery, aside from abortion, that one-third of American women will undergo. Then suck my left tit when you decide that it’s not necessary for the public to pay for that shit. You’ll let Medicare pay to get herpes treated, and that shit sticks around. At least pregnancy is a sexually-transmitted disease that isn’t contagious. So fuck you, Congresspeople. You daft twats. The youngest Congresswoman was born in ‘70, which means it’s pretty much safe to say that statistically, at least 30 of the 92 Congresswomen have had abortions already. And of the 440+ men– yeah, Republicans and Democrats alike– at least one-hundred of you are the fathers of abortions.  Suck it. Both literally and metaphorically.

Thank you.

P.S. Shit fuck piss cunt ass whore motherfucker.